Halo 3 vs. Real Life - Bungie's Up But Not by Much

Viral Tarpara — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 08:11:00 GMT

I was thinking, there are a lot of things that make life worth living, but then I think that if I could play "God" and do it all over again ~~hehe Populous~~, I would code in a few improvements and maybe hire a Bungie programmer or two. Let's break it down shall we; things that Halo 3 gets right that life doesn't:

Regenerative Shields

When we are born, we're pretty much helpless and dependant on our parents, no armor, body suit, machine gun. Those's things I can understand, after all, they wouldn't be practical without the proper skills and training. But seriously, there's no good reason not to have a protective shield. C'mon God, skin?

Resurrection

Who wouldn't like to be resurrected after your girlfriend drags you out to a deathly opera house where, you, listening to a shrieking soprano, causes you to die in agony ~~mmm...fractured skull~~. It's no way to go. I'd rather die playing with the Wii. But honestly, death sucks...

Pistols

See in real life, handguns are dangerous and people get hurt...heh heh heh, but not in Halo!

Idiot Mute

A new feature that shows that life is far from perfect; muting people you don't like. Halo 3 will now implement a feature whereby an individual can selectively mute other players thus eliminating a problem as old as the Xbox itself, VOIP Flamers. ~~Intermediate Gender Studies would have been so much easier to sleep in back in college.~~

At this point, I would say Bungie has a significant lead. I would declare an all out winner, but there is one critical flaw in Halo where real life wins. Sex ~~work safe, I promise~~. Until they figure that out, I'm afraid that I regretfully end this post in a stalemate.

*UPDATE* - I am told by my female audience I have my final point backwards. According to them, Halo is 3 for 4, while real life is actually -1. I'll leave it at that.

The Vacuum Tube : Halo

Halo 3 vs. Real Life - Bungie's Up But Not by Much