As someone who has been on both sides of the table many times as a Project Manager your sentiments offer sound advice. Basically if you try and "screw" somebody they are far more inclined to look for a future opportunity to "screw" you. It is only human nature after all. What goes around, comes around. If you cannot find that "win-win" position there will be tears somewhere along the line!

Cheers

Graham J.

For the London Free Press - July 16, 2007 Read this on Canoe UPDATE: This post was reproduced on the ITManagers blog and received some positive comments. When negotiating an agreement for the purchase of goods or services, some buyers...

This is very sound advice - hurting someone you're negotiating with very rarely produces long-term durable results and working relationships.  If someone feels "taken" either during or after the negotiation, chances are it will affect their follow through with the agreement.  

However, both parties can in fact be 100% satisfied with the results, especially if the satisfaction of the negotiation is not based solely on price.  Negotiators often care about a great deal beyond price, yet focus on that one aspect of the negotiation.  Studies show that price ranks 3rd or 4th in terms of what makes for a satisfactory agreement.

At MWI, a Boston-based spin off of the Harvard Negotiation Project, we design customized trainings that teach people how to find, claim and offer maximum value for all parties in a negotiation, while costing each party as little as possible.  This is done by learning to uncover the interests of the other party as well as one's own.  Once those interests are uncovered, each negotiator can often find ways to meet the other's interests at little cost to themselves.  For example, besides cost, businesses are often interested in reputation, referrals, advertising, and other non-monetary negotiable aspects.  Very often these items can be included in a negotiated agreement.

If you can find a way to bring more value to a negotiating partner (and I used the term partner intentionally), they may be willing to pay more for your services or they may be willing to offer you other services that meet your interests better than additional money.

Please feel free to contact me with questions about these ideas or for information about our training programs.  I can be reached at 800-348-4888 x24 or sfrenkel@mwi.org.  More information about MWI can be found at www.mwi.org.

Its good to see such positive comments about my article.  My article and all the comments are consistent with the previous comment by Stephen Frenkel about interests based negotiation.  Any negotiation is as much about understanding the other party's wants/needs as your own.  And don't forget to spend some time figuring out what your own needs and interests are - they may not be obvious at the outset.

I often tell clients contemplating an arrangement with another party to take some time to write down what they want from the deal, and what issues are important.  Then put yourself in the other person's head and do the same.

I recall a particular deal several years ago where I represented a large company that was negotiating with an equally large company for an arrangement that was out of the ordinary at the time.  When it was over, we were happy with the result.  We found that the other party was happy with the result too - so much so that they sent me a note thanking me for being fair and listening to their needs.  That might seem odd, but it was because we did actually listen, and tried to find ways to address the interests of both parties.