Sitting through another Microsoft meeting, a co-worker was bemoaning his wife's insistence on buying a minivan. "I'm just not there," he said. And I knew exactly what he meant, having sailed that ship myself.

Here was my heartfelt response.

You can get through this. You really can. But you need to follow these critical steps:

1) Don’t try to argue SUV over minivan. Unless you’re a frequent off-roader (you’re not), or own a boat that you need to haul around (you don’t), you’re not going to win this argument. That’s because, for most families, minivans are simply more practical than SUVs. Let's face it. The real reason you don’t want a minivan is because it’s too emasculating. Everyone knows that, including your wife. Minivans are made for women. They’re built for families and they’re loaded with air bags. They’re low to the ground for easy access. Some of them even have built-in hooks for carrying grocery bags. They’re slow – just try to find one with a V-8. They’re quiet. They come with TVs and Xboxes. It’s a living room on wheels. An SUV is a garage. Women don’t want to travel in garages.

2) Mentally assign ownership of the minivan to your wife. This is “her car” not “ours.” She’s the one who wants it, not you. And she’s the one who will be driving it 90% of the time. So what do you care? The only time you’ll even have to look at it is when you’re going on vacation, and everyone knows that all fathers get a free pass on vacation anyway. Vacations are crazy! They’re nuts! You go places you normally wouldn’t go and wear clothes you normally wouldn’t wear, right down to the shoes and hat. Think about it…when was the last time you even thought about buying a new hat. You were on vacation, weren’t you? (Baseball caps excepted.) A minivan is like that crazy hat you bought at the Sea World gift store. Perfect for vacation – not much use at home.

3) Let the pragmatist in you take over. I’ve mentioned vacations. As dorky as you’ll feel driving a minivan all over the country – that’s how smart you’ll feel every time you fill up at the gas pump. On average, minivans get 5 MPG better than SUVs. That’s like 100 extra miles per tank. But for me, it’s not so much the money savings as the fact that I don’t have to stop for gas as much. I hate stopping for gas, particularly when I’ve gone through much pain to stake my spot in the traffic flow. On my last vacation, I filled up just five times over 2,630 miles. If I’d been driving my SUV, I would’ve had to stop for gas seven times – maybe eight!

But if you’re the type that needs to see savings in dollars and cents, just price out a top-of-the-line minivan against a similarly equipped SUV. The difference is enormous. I was looking at a “comfortably equipped” Montero for just under $45K. It wasn’t what I wanted (a Land Cruiser) and it wasn’t even loaded (no sunroof, no CD changer), but it was pretty nice. Then I finally let my wife drag me to Ford where she’d picked out a fully loaded Windstar that was just over $30K. Leather, power everything, separate A/C for front and back, separate music channels, the works! The price difference was just too overwhelming. We drove it home.

Reality Check
That was seven years ago, and the Windstar is pushing 120K miles. All-in-all, it’s been great. Very good decision. Do I wish it was a Land Cruiser? Absolutely. Do I still feel silly driving it? Sometimes. It’s just not my “real” personality to drive one, so I let my “dad-husband” personality drive it. My saving grace is that, even after seven years in Minivanland, I haven’t lost my feel for real cars. I haven’t lost my need to pull up to a nice restaurant and hand the valet the keys to my Land Cruiser or Range Rover or Mercedes. But I know that one day, when the kids are gone, I’ll be free to buy the car I really want. And by that time, I’ll be the guy that says: “Minivan? Yeah, I had one of those once.”