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Software Testers Eat Steak!

Now that I’ve explained exactly what a Software Test Engineer does, the question burning in most minds is certainly “How could I learn to be a Software Test Engineer? I want to earn big money, play the piano, and eat steak!”

 

That’s a great question, Bob! By the way, how’s that sister of yours?

 

If you have the basic qualifications (equal parts left-and-right-brained, obsessive attention to detail, unbridled arrogance, and the ability to remain permanently dissatisfied) then you can learn testing in one simple and largely ineffective lesson.

 

(If you’d prefer 293 good lessons, then be sure to pick up a copy of the superlative Lessons Learned in Software Testing, by my good friend’s brother James Bach, et al.)

 

My non-patented and completely unwarranted single lesson method is as follows:

 

Before you look at anything, assume that you can find ways to make it better.

 

(Yes, I know what they say about assumptions making an ass out of you and umption, but, in reality, I can’t even get out of bed in the morning without making at least 84 assumptions.)

 

It sounds simple, like me, but I’ve seen it proven under near-scientific circumstances, time and . . . well, just the one time.

 

I was working with a friend of mine whom I’ll call Anne, since that is her name. She was curious about testing, so I was giving her a look at the sort of work that I do. As an experiment, I told her about an art asset (one of our aircraft visual models) in the product I was working on at the time, and went on and on about how good it looked. Then, I showed it to her, and asked her what she thought of it. She immediately, and quite accurately, listed a dozen or so great features, and agreed that it looked really good.

 

Then I told her that there was a similar object that was a real mess, needed a lot of work, and I asked her to look that over, and promptly showed her the same model from a different viewpoint. She found 5 or 6 bugs (flaws, anyway) per minute for 5 minutes, non-stop.

 

I eventually, begrudgingly told her the truth. At least, I think I did. If not, and she’s reading this . . .sorry, Anne.

 

The point of this anecdote is not that Anne is or was especially susceptible to the power of suggestion – that isn’t the case at all. The point is that the difference between the two evaluations, or test passes to use the vernacular of the cognoscenti, was that I helped her change her starting assumption.

 

When she assumed something was going to look good, she found the high points. When she assumed that something needed improvement, she was immediately transformed into some kind of unstoppable bug-finding machine.

 

You can try it yourself, with anything – books, movies, the way people talk, their personal and political beliefs – and you’ll find that, to some degree, if you approach it correctly, you can test anything. 

 

Movies are full of continuity problems (hair that parts and unparts, props that appear and disappear, airplane changes), books are rife with spelling errors and misplaced words, advertising abounds with misused "quotation" marks and catchy aphorisms that don’t mean what somebody thought they were supposed to (“At Shorepoint assisted living, each day is better than the next.”) The list goes on, as I so often do.

 

Once you decide that nothing could possibly be good enough, you’ll be testing constantly, finding flaws in everything you see, even when you close your eyes! And, most importantly, while the other chumps are lined up at Skeezix’ Soup Kitchen taking whatever they can get, you’ll be eating steak! Steak that’s just a little overdone, and not exactly the cut you were promised, ordered from a misspelled menu, served by a waitress with a crooked name tag on a plate that really doesn’t go with that tablecloth while a Muzak version of In My Life plays in the background in the wrong time signature . . . but steak, nonetheless.

 

The only tricky part is learning when to stop.

 

For more on this, you can ask my wife.

Published Saturday, January 14, 2006 8:52 AM by Hal9000

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# re: Software Testers Eat Steak!

Hi Hal...

please give us more information about upcoming fsx...

brds
Saturday, January 14, 2006 11:57 AM by martin

# re: Software Testers Eat Steak!

Martin -

But it's so much more interesting to talk about me . . .

Thanks for the feedback. I'll work on that, but, right now, there's not much to be said beyond what we released.

Please keep reading, though - I'll work in some details.

Thanks -

Hal
Saturday, January 14, 2006 12:26 PM by Hal9000

# re: Software Testers Eat Steak!

thank`s Hal ...

...there's not much to be said beyond what we released.
hmm I`M sure there is lot`s to speak about..
what for keeping everyone in secret ...we are your`s customers and we want to know more about product to have purchase just for few month..maybe I `m too impatient but all you SHOW us is just few pictures ...
Hal ..and other from team MSFS ...PLEASE OPEN YOUR HEARTS FOR US LITTLE IMPATIENCE FLYERS...
WE NEED MORE INFO , MORE SCREENS , MORE DETAILS..
BRDS
Saturday, January 14, 2006 1:01 PM by martin

# re: Software Testers Eat Steak!

Martin -

I'm sure glad you're so excited. Just remember that we've only been allowed to even acknowledge the existence of FSX for 8 days now. By the time it lands on store shelves, you will know everything there is to know, believe me.

In the meantime, I've got a post that I'll hopefully put up tomorrow morning that drops just a hint or two. Not much, but you'll see.

- Hal
Saturday, January 14, 2006 3:46 PM by Hal9000

# re: Software Testers Eat Steak!

Haha... that's good reading Hal.

Let me tell you a funny story... it sorta relates to yours.... I think !

Many many moons ago (I am 53 now, I believe), my uncle gave me a little metal airplane model he made himself. It was back in 1957. Yikes !!

THAT was the beginning of my interest, later to be known as obsession, for aviation.

Many years later, after having built countless Airfix and Lindbergh plastic kits, having read just about every books on wargames and simulations, and even having made a few (board)games myself... I found myself working at the country's biggest newspaper. In the 'ads department'. We won't go into that now.. <grin>..

Anyway, they had a very sophisticated, half-way automated, commercial ad system... using many people, telephones, tube-mail and.. IBM typewriters.

Some visionary soul had decided we'd go the 'automation way' and hence a computer system was designed to replace the typewriters by computer terminals, brilliantly linked to the typesetting machines AND the accounting department's computer program.

Well, guess what..... I got a job as 'user expert' to help TEST that system. That was back in, oh, '76 I guess....

Needless to say (I am in dire waters here of course <grin>)) that the programmers building that system had no clue about our work, becasue the 'analysts' and 'designers' we employed had no clue either.... so we tested the whole darn mutli-million effort straight into the ground.

Tok us almost two years and our 'hitlist' of things to fix counted some 500 topics after those two years. We started with 50..... the initial ones were soon replaced by new errors and problems..... oh it was FUN !!

By that time the first microcomputers had appeared.... I read about it in US mags, saw ads from RadioShack.... read all about Bruce's new revolutionary flight simulator.....
..... but all I could do was fly a radio-controlled aircraft into the trees and canals and be beaten on my head by my young wife for throwing money at such trivialities as 'hobby' !!

Until one day I walked into the IT department, where a 'consultant' (must have been the first one in Holland !), was always working on something nobody understood.... on an Apple microcomputer. And one night he showed me secretly that he had a <GASP!> 'game' on it !!!
It was a small 'X' at the topright corner...., a short line left bottom.... and you had to type a throttle setting to 'land' the X on the line.

You figured it.... I was sold !! This thing had potential.. I could see more flying games come out in future!

So the day the IT manager somewhat 'smirkingly' suggested that we 'testers' join his IT group and 'do it better' I started a non-expected and long-lasting career in IT. It got me near the top of a major global corporation's management team... AND it got me on the first PC we bought.

Now I have left corporate life, after having had just about every conceivable IT job title (yes, I even was a programmer once), BECAUSE of my 'testng job', I am now back doing what I love doing best; tinker with flight simulators, even organizing MAKING things for them, writing about them... and yes, even still using them.. when I find the time.

So Hal...... you never know where you'll wind up, but TESTING can get you far !! ;-)

Warm regards,
Francois
Saturday, January 14, 2006 3:49 PM by Francois 'Navman' Dumas

# re: Software Testers Eat Steak!

Dear Sir,
The life of a software tester certainly appeals to me and I shall apply myself to my studies. One point does concern me, however. Would it be possible for me to eat patty melt sandwiches in lieu of the above mentioned steak?

Thank you for your kind consideration.

Jim
Monday, January 16, 2006 9:36 PM by Jim

# re: Software Testers Eat Steak!

Jim -

I'm afraid that we don't have any specific needs in the patty melt afficionado area at this time. However, should you be interested in eating steak and constructing large lists of reasons why said steak isn't as good as a patty melt, then we might just have a place for an esteemed former rocket surgeon such as yourself.

Sincerely,

H. Bryan
Director Emeritus
Calvin Ossal School of Gastronomy
Tuesday, January 17, 2006 10:27 AM by Hal9000

# re: Software Testers Eat Steak!

Haha, you are hilarious. No Seriously! Just talk about whatever you like and I'll keep reading. And don't let the "give us more details" folks discourage you. I for one very much enjoyed reading your posts.

Just some words of encouragement :-)
Tuesday, January 17, 2006 2:17 PM by Inker

# re: Software Testers Eat Steak!

Hal - thanks for the link!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006 9:41 AM by Continuitycorner

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