In the August 2007 issue of TechNet Magazine, the Scripting Guys are on sentry duty...
No, wait. This month the Microsoft Scripting Guys are brushing up on their World Series trivia...
Hold on, what's this about meat hooks?
Sorry, that can't be right....
Actually, in this issue of TechNet Magazine the Scripting Guys are using, well, scripts to pry the identity out of some local and remote systems.
Thrill to the manipulation of a little-known (but extremely useful) ADSI object named ADSystemInfo.
Experience the excitement of the WMI class Win32_ComputerSystem and the UserName property.
Wonder at querying samAccountNames from Active Directory via the GetOwner method.
Really, it's more interesting than it sounds.
You can get more Hey, Scripting Guy! goodness from the TechNet Magazine archives, and there's a listing of Hey, Scripting Guy! columns by topic on the TechNet Script Center.
Just be sure you're ready when someone asks you, "Who won the 1903 World Series?"