[Funnies] Holiday Help at the North Pole

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seankPoor old Santa Claus.   Another year has come up and he is having SO much trouble dealing with managing the elves.  

Production problems left right and centre.   Suppliers are backed up because they can't communicate properly with poor Santa.     Simple difficulties in production and questions are causing major backlogs. Some elves needed to book some time off too and most of them booked the same day off.    Mrs. Claus lost her schedule book and did a big boo-boo. And with world population going through the roof, the "Naughty nice" list just got too large to carry about. Poor Mr. Claus.   He's just banging his head against the table.

How could this all be solved?  

It was December 17th, too many toys to make. And so he goes online to www.live.ca on his "Ho-ho-holett Packard" laptop and does a search.

"Solution Unified Scheduling Information"

Or something like that, I mean what else does an 800 year old elf type in?  He finds it.

"Microsoft providing solutions to all your needs."

Santa picks up his Nortel Rotary phone and dials. 

"Hello Microsoft Support, how can we help you?"

"Hello.  This is Santa Claus..."

Immediately, recognizing who this was, it was IMMEDIATELY escalated to top Top TOP level tech support.   That's right.  The "B" guy.

"Hello Microsoft Ultra Senior Top Level Primo Support, Bill Gates speaking."

Santa was impressed.

"Hello Mr. Bill.   I would check to see if you were on my 'Naughty Nice' list but things have just gotten SO out of hand."

"No problem Mr. Claus.  Here at Microsoft, we provide solutions.   So what types of problems are you having?"

And so Mr. Claus goes into details explaining the communications and scheduling problems at the North Pole.  

"Santa!  Have I got the solution for you.  I think you need to have a little technology up there to fix it all.  And here at Microsoft, we have what is needed!"

So Bill goes into some details explaining Windows Server 2008, Exchange Server 2007, SharePoint Server and Office Communicator 2007.

Santa sits there eagerly taking in all the information, chomping upon tray and tray of Christmas cookies.  Mrs.  Claus hadn't seen him so happy in ages.  Santa agrees and has Microsoft call in some Partners and MVPs to fire up his new network.   When they were done the elves all were all wired up with Office Communicator on their desktops.   Calendar appointments were posted into a common SharePoint Calendar.   Suppliers kept directly in contact with Santa via email.    Faxes ended up on Santa's phone CC'd to Mrs. Claus.   The Naughty Nice list was uploaded into an amazing SQL Server 2008 database.    The developers from Microsoft write him up nice tidy little app using Visual Studio 2008 to get that NaughtyNice2008 list onto his Mobile 6 SmartPhone.   (That a REALLY mean game of 'Elf Bowling')

And of course to tie it all up neatly, Mr. Gates sent up a few excellent volunteers from Microsoft Canada since they were already used to the sub zero temperatures of the North Pole.

And so with only 24 hours to spare, Santa managed to get production back up to par, sort of the elves scheduling issues.   He even managed to get a little off time to play Guitar Hero III on the Xbox360.   Man THAT old guy could play!

So Christmas day came and went and the holiday was saved all because of a bunch of nerds who loved creating solutions and an uber nerd who led them to the cause.

 

From the Friday Funny Guy and the Canadian Community Advisor team have a safe and happy holiday season!

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  • Ho ho ho!  And a Merry Christmas to all of you!  

    Ho ho ho!

    By the way, Santa would like some more chocolate in his cookies this year and the milk chilled a bit.

    And please folks... don't forget to leave the fires out in those chimney's.  Magic or not, Santa still does not like getting a "Hot Foot!"

    Ho ho ho!

    S.C.

  • Ho ho ho!

    It's been a long year for poor old Santa.   All those presents, all those children.   All that joy!

    I am very tired.

    I think I will take a nice long vacation in the Bahamas this year.    Thanks to Microsoft for the modernization.  Those elves are having a fight not downloading whatever they want thanks to that Terminal Server.   Ho ho ho!  Naughty elves going to freechristmasmusic.com and freesnowscreensavers.com.   That will teach them.

    And a really nifty phone too.   Hey look.  I knocked down some more elves!  Love this Elf Bowling!

    Could that dev team maybe rewrite this Elf Bowling with some Dolby Digital Sound and a projected display?  Maybe add in a nice little motion sensing?

    The phone can handle it right?

    Ho ho ho!

    S.C.