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You might have seen the TechNet Security Quiz, but I am going to share the TRUE correct answers Rodney does not want you to SEE!
1. Which of the following is the MOST secure password?
Good grief, those are all pretty easy. Come on, everybody KNOW that a BLANK (NULL) password is the most secure. They're run a cracker on it all day long and get NOTHING. How can you type in NOTHING?! It's the hardest one to get through to! Shame on you Rodney!
2. Which of the following is true? Patching hardware / software
Updates and patches are for wimps. Real technicians take the world upon their shoulders and fly with the eagles (Especially the bald ones!). Nope, if you can't a few security bugs and glitches you aren't a real man!
3. Which of the following is not correct?
Cough! In my network, it is a commune, everyone is anonymous and anonymous is everyone. We all belong together. Take down those walls my brethren. Peace to us all...
4. Which of the following groups should be monitored for additions?
Ah! That was too easy. Developers. There's just too darn many of those sneaky buggers. Playing Xbox360 ahd Halo3 all day long. Just who do they think they are...
5. Which account should administrators use for their day to day activities?
Oh everybody KNOWS you just go to the server and login as ADMINISTRATOR with your NULL password to copy over the SQL and EXCHANGE databases through wireless. Don't you guys at Microsoft know ANYTHING?
6. Disabling services that are not being used is a good way to reduce the attack surface.
Tch tch tch. No no no. WRONG WRONG WRONG! That's a good way to wreck that copy of Doom 3 I had installed on the Xeon server. I NEED IIS on my internal member server along with FTP, Telnet and a full operation SQL database to play Doom. And you call yourself an expert.
7. What should information should be logged and audited.
What should information should be should logged and fixed is should grammar check. Should you know. Should get fixed. Should be looked at really soon. Should get some sleep.
8. Where should your store your backup media?
I have perfectly nice hot car trunk full of 15" stereo magnets that has never been broken into. Where else?
9. What employees should be trained on security.
Nobody. It's for me to know and you to find out. If you found out, you might learn my tricks and figure a way to get by me. No no. It's best to keep Pandora's box closed on that one. NEXT QUESTION!
10. What should you do when you suspect a system to have been exploited?
Simple. Get a REALLY REALLY REALLY good lawyer and launch a class action lawsuit naming all members of the corporation and hope the garner a good settlement.
Now go take the quiz and win yourself a rockin' PC!
There! It's about time you people finally let the rest of us know the true answers.
Leading us all on with those "passwords" and "locks" and rabid man eating chihuahua's guarding the network doors.