[Funnies] Guitar Hero II Tips

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I recently bought Guitar Hero II for the xBox360 and I am HOOKED!  Sean was nice enough to share his tips with me and I thought they are worthwhile for everyone to see! 

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Alright all you experts out there.   You all think you can kick *ss in Rock and blow the scores away?  Pshaw!  Here's the REAL tips on how to actually blow away all the scores in Guitar Hero II!

1) Stance!  You must stand on the ground like you OWN the ground.   Make that floor your bitch!

2) Grimace Musically.   Aha!  the experts on everything haven't picked it up yet, but the ability to grimace musically is more important that ability.  Make the world stare at you and respect your power.   The game flows much more smoothly that way.

3) Pound that guitar!  That's right, shake that sucker to the beat, hit that Star power, and more importantly?  Learn to smash it like Pete Townsend of "The Who".  It will be a bit expensive at first but well worth it.

4) RockStar!  Oh sure the odd heart attack may happen but five or six cans of "Rock Star" juice and you'll make Eddie Van Halen feel slow.

5) Practice Yoga.  Become the game.  Fell the Zen (or Zune if you prefer) of it's power.  Sense the notes before they happen.  "The Force" has nothing on you.

6) Learn "Air Guitar".   A Long lost art of the 80's.   Only the best of the best of the best can "Air Guitar".  It can truly add a shine to your performance.

7) Imagine a goal.   That's right.  Picture a goal.  A BIG GOAL!  A GOAL SO RIDICULOUSLY HUGE it will be normally unobtainable.   Imagine a bet where passing a round will achieve that goal...  Hey it can work.  

8) Lots of Water.  If you really get into the game, water is more than wanted.  It's required.   Don't bother with any "Magic Juice".  You may feel like "Mick Jagger" but you'll play like "PeeWee Herman"

9) Headphones.    Grab a big mother set of headphones.   The kind that block out all sound and sensation.   Crank that volume to 11!

10) Most importantly.  Take about three to four days from work or school.   Be the game.   Learn to keep your eyes unable to blink for hours at a time.   Get some groupies.  Smoke some cigarettes.  Don't sleep for all that time and live the Rock Star lifestyle.

Do all of this?  And you will OWN the game.  Or die.   Not sure which will happen first...

Maybe a nice game of Solitaire instead?

Note: For some real tips read this official page :)

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  • "Hello my name is Sean, I followed the sage advice offered here and I really can blow things away.   My wife thinks the groupies are an issue.   My kids don't like all the smoke in the basement.   But I've lived Guitar Hero II and can tell the tell."

    My fingers are numb.   The floor is moving from staring at the screen for 3 hours.  

    I just broke 200,000 at medium on "FreeBird"

    Now could somebody tell me how to get rid of all these spots in front of my eyes????